Compiling a wedding guest list can be extremely stressful because people’s feelings are involved. When making the wedding guest list you will require extra tact and sympathy for others’ feelings — and patience and understanding to avoid conflict. Here are 10 tips to building your wedding guest list:
- Base the number of guests on a set budget
Find out how much money you can spend per guest on food at the reception, and use that amount to determine the number of guests you can invite. After all, the head count at your reception is the biggest expense in your wedding budget. Your budget and venue size are the two main factors that should be considered in this decision. Each guest costs money. Remember don’t choose a number that’s larger than your venue’s capacity. It’s much better to keep your number on the conservative side. Establish your budget, and stick to it.
- Make three lists – Must, Should, Could
To prioritise yourmain list of wedding guest, you should first make three eperate lists – the must invites, the should invites, and the could invites. If your budget covers all themust invites then move on to the should invites and then to the could invites. By using this wedding list system, you ensure that the people most important to you can attend the wedding.
- Family first rule
As a general rule, you should always invite the main family members from both sides first. Remember that the guests at your wedding are your “witnesses,” so they should be family and close friends whom you care about and who you have known for many years.
- Avoid last-minute additions
The best thing you can do in the early stages of your wedding planning is steer clear of wedding specifics with anyone. Stick to your invited guests only. Don’t be bullied or made to feel guilty if people you haven’t invited invite themselves to your wedding. Better to avoid them knowing as long as you can and remember your wedding is costing you money and they are not paying so you are in charge of the list not others.
- Eliminate anyone who only knows one of the happy couple
If the potential wedding guest has never met your significant other or vice versa (and especially if they don’t even know who they are), then don’t invite them. The wedding should only be for people who know both the marring couple. Some family members can be exempt from this rule though.
- Limit co-workers
Don’t feel obligated to invite co-workers because, after all, you may not work with them six months after the wedding. Ask yourself this question: if the company did cease trading tomorrow, would you still be friends with them? But for your job, do you have anything in common? An unwritten rule says you can only invite the co-workers you socialise with outside of work.
- Be aware of “plus ones”
If any single friend or family member is in a long-term relationship, invite that person and his or her significant other by name even though they aren’t married. The people in your wedding party should be given priory when it comes to “plus ones” evne if you have not met that person’s significant other. Let the burden be on your guest to ask about bringing someone. “Plus ones” can drive the number of guests and the cost of your wedding sky-high.
- Ex Partners
If you or your beloved has had sexual relations with a person who is being considered on the guest list, then the significant has veto power over that invite.
- Are they truly your friend?
If you live in the same city as the person you are considering to invite and don’t see them outside of events organised by mutual friends, then you shouldn’t invite them. These people are not truly your friends; these are your friends’ friends. Also If when you visit the town where the potential invitees live but you would nevre have the attention on seeing them while you was there, then they shouldn’t be insulted when you don’t invite them to your wedding.
- Children still take up places
Children count toward your final number, and, if space is limited at your wedding then you may need to start considering what children should and shouldn’t come. Keep in mind, though, your flower girl and ring bearer are part of your wedding party, so you should invite them, of course. If either you or your spouse-to-be has children, you should absolutely include them, too. If either of you has children in your immediate family (that is, brothers or sisters), you should invite them, as well. But other people’s children (unless you know then well enough) should be left out to keep the numbers done.